We’ve now passed the 100 day mark until the end of another year, and Christmas is around the corner!? If that causes any immediate stress, then I hope the following will provide some relief. I just ran a group on ways to feel better, and wanted to share some of the ideas we discussed.
Start your day as you mean to go on
Use the first hour of your morning to get into a good state/energy that sets you up in a good frame of mind for your day, and plan your priorities. This starts you off on the right foot, and helps you guard against any drag or resistance about completing less interesting or hard to do tasks. It keeps you focused on YOUR agenda, and less triggered by others’ demands.
Use feelings not thoughts as your guide
Be mindful of what you’re thinking in any given moment, and the ‘story’ you’re telling yourself. Thoughts create feelings so when you’re feeling stressed or uneasy, it’s a good indication to question what thoughts you’re believing in the moment. Instead, find alternative ways to view what is bugging or upsetting you that are the direct opposite. Focus on what you do want, not what you don’t, which can immediately make you feel better.
View negative feelings as useful information
No one likes feeling uncomfortable, but often it’s the resistance to what is happening, and not the event that causes most distress. See negative feelings as useful information, get curious and be mindful of the meanings you’re attaching to events. Check in on what you’re believing or thinking that is causing you discomfort – asking yourself “Is this really true?” Or “What else could this mean?” can quickly give you a different perspective.
Set boundaries and say no
A no to someone is a yes to you, and a win win for you both as it guards against misunderstandings, resentments or bad feelings building up later.
Does this decision feel good?
When making any decisions, only do so when you’re in a good frame of mind. Decisions taken when you’re not feeling at your best can cause problems in relationships, and invariably result in things unravelling for the worse down the line. At the same time, ask yourself “Does this decision take me further up my mountain?” i.e. meet your important priorities, and make you feel good or not? If you feel uneasy, or any resistance, make it a no for now until it feels better.
Build in regular time for reflection
What is your ‘why’ for doing what you do or living as you are?
When did you last think about that?
If you don’t know, take some time out now to think about it. No amount of setting intentions or writing ‘to do’ lists is a substitute for getting clarity, or feeling more at peace or happy on a regular basis.
If you’re not feeling how you would like to, what changes can you start to make before another year is out?
Replace expectations with appreciation
Let everyone off the hook from having to change, be or do things to please you. So often we can be driven by a need to feel right or defend our position. But as I often ask people I work with “do you want to be right or do you want to be happy – it’s your choice”. Instead, focus on appreciating what you do enjoy about the person and what they do bring to your life.
That’s my conversation for today – hope it’s given you some food for thought. Here’s to making the most of the rest of your year!