Well it’s that time of year and a bit like marmite, whether you love it or not, Valentine’s Day is here again.

It represents a couple of things for me like taking a moment to appreciate our loved ones for a starter – although I hope you don’t need a specific date to do that!? But just as importantly it can be a chance to check in on ourselves, and see how much time you’ve been giving to you recently?

‘Me time’ is not selfish

‘Me time’ has to begin with stopping the busyness, and getting good at carving out guilt-free, time out for ourselves.

Take a minute now to ask yourself this question: out of a 100 per cent what percentage would you say you’re currently spending on 1 Me time 2 Personal time (partner, children, family, friends) 3 Work (paid/unpaid) job/business … however you’re spending the majority of your day time?

Looking at how you scored, what thoughts come up for you immediately? Does that feel like the right balance for you? And, if not, what might you do to create greater balance across all three areas?

My nudges are all about having a different conversation with ourselves so we’re living with less stress and greater ease. So whatever Valentine’s Day means to you, I wish you a lovely rest of your day, including taking some ‘me time’ for yourself!

All the best for now

Tamsin

PS If life feels out of balance for you, make this the year when you do something different. There’s a way to reduce your stress levels and expand your time without having to change or do anything extra, and I’d love to share that with you so you experience more sustainable peace of mind, wellbeing and joy in 2022.

When you’re ready there are a couple of immediate ways to begin.

1 My free insights series for ‘Living in the Flow’ a good introduction to the understanding I share.

2 My Freedom from Worry and Stress Challenge – 8 Weeks to Greater Wellbeing and Resilience – just click on the link to see how others benefited from taking part last year and how it works. Numbers are limited and I’ll be announcing the dates for the next one soon, so if this talks to you drop me an email to be one of the first to know… JFDI!

I hope the New Year has got off to a good start for you, and you’re continuing to feel the benefit of the festive break.

I’m well aware that could be a case of famous last words, as I’m already speaking with people who are back into the usual busyness, and already feeling the stress.

So, in thinking about my New Year nudge, I wanted to share a reflection about creating more time, and yes I have found it’s possible!

There’s always an easier time to do something

This one thing probably sounds so simple, but has made the world of difference to me and the people I work with. And a good example of this is writing this nudge. Yesterday, no matter how long I sat at the computer, the words were just not coming. And the more I overthought things, the more frustrated I felt.

Today, having decided to leave it alone and come back to it, various ideas came to mind, and the words are just flowing.

It’s only me putting the pressure on

Since it’s rarely a life or death situation, I’ve come to see it’s only ever me who is putting myself under pressure to get something done by a certain time and in a certain way. I’d got this idea yesterday that it was ‘blue Monday’ so that would be a good hook to hang my nudge on. But the more I thought about it the more I thought that discussing a made up idea – turns out Blue Monday is just a marketing ploy that a travel company came up with to get us to book holidays (who knew…) – didn’t feel very helpful!

Expanding time by just starting

Expanding time as I’ve come to see it on the other hand felt like a useful nudge! And the way I’ve found this works is that there’s the thing that you want to do or needs doing, and then there’s all the thinking you can have about it. Whereas if you just get started there’s a natural momentum that builds, and before you know it the thing is done, which saves so much time.

Follow your energy

And when you don’t feel like it, I’ve found it’s pretty pointless forcing yourself. As I said above, there’s always a time when your energy levels lift, or something naturally shifts or comes to mind, that just puts you back in the flow of taking action.

Alternatively, you can do what my sister calls JFDI… the polite version of which is just do it! This gets a whole lot easier when you’re living more in your life and less in your thoughts!

That’s my nudge to help create more time in 2022, and I hope you find it helpful. Don’t take my word for it, just notice what happens when you allow yourself to show up to life and follow where your energy takes you – it not only saves so much time, but makes for a much nicer way to live.

All the best for now

Tamsin

PS If you feel time starved then make this the year when you do something different. There’s a way to reduce your stress levels and expand your time without having to change or do anything extra, and I’d love to share that with you so you experience more sustainable peace of mind, wellbeing and joy in 2022. You can start now with my free insights series for ‘Living in the Flow’ a good introduction to the understanding I share.

Just a short and sweet email to wish you a peaceful and relaxing holidays, including a pic of the traditional Christmas Light Up on my Marine and boat where I live!

It was lovely to hear from so many of you following my last nudge About Believing your Thoughts, and I look forward to connecting more via my nudges in the New Year.

When I was pondering what nudge to share today, I was drawn to go back to a previous nudge I sent a few years back at Christmas where I shared a well known, funny, short YouTube video called ‘The Nothing Box’.

I know communications with our important people can sometimes be a bit stressful leading up to and over the holidays. So, in the spirit of wishing everyone as stress free time as possible, this is an amusing take on how men and women can communicate differently!

Watching it again today, I still laughed out loud, albeit it struck me that it’s perhaps less helpful these days to focus on what makes us different, and way more helpful to embrace what makes us similar.

And one thing I’ve come to see is that we all have access to a Nothing Box.

Or, as I share in my work, a space inside where we can always go to experience a quieter state of mind, and from there we invariably find ourselves surfacing refreshed and more easily seeing how best to communicate!

I hope the video raises a smile or two for you, as well as a gentle nudge to remind you of your Nothing Box, and how helpful it can be to know it’s there anytime you need it.

Wishing you a lovely Christmas, and here’s to a wonderful New Year for us all.

Warmest best wishes and love

Tamsin

It’s been a while since my last nudge and I hope you’re keeping well.

I took this picture on the River this week, and the string of boats reminded me of a string of thoughts, and how one thought can quickly lead to another…sometimes causing us to worry, stress or feel anxious about what we’re thinking.

In my last nudge on wellbeing, I shared that I’ve come to see all thoughts as neutral until we breathe life into them, or give them a meaning. So, it got me thinking about a question:

“How do you know what thoughts to believe?”

Or put another way, what causes us to buy into some thoughts and not others?

I think we get so used to living on autopilot that we don’t often stand back and question what we think. Or give ourselves a chance to see an issue, situation or person with a fresh perspective…a chance to change our mind, or reflect on long held beliefs that might be limiting us or holding us back in this moment.

This is where my nudging is so enjoyable, as it offers an opportunity for people to take a fresh look and experience a renewed freedom and peace of mind. This can feel so much nicer than continuing to live with what I refer to as that background hum of stress, or heavier feeling that can weigh us down when something is playing on our minds.

It’s at those times that it can be so compelling to keep churning things over and over in the hopes of finding a solution…something I certainly used to do a lot! But I’ve found that only serves to create more noise in my head and keep my thoughts spinning.

These days, I do the exact opposite and encourage people I work with to do the same. And that is to get quiet and leave their thinking alone. This can be easier said than done, but I’ve learnt that it pays to wait for my mind to settle down…and from that quieter state, things invariably look different, and fresh answers inevitably come to me. I don’t always manage it of course, but seeing that’s just what naturally happens when we have less on our mind makes for the world of difference.

So how might you answer the question: “How do you know what thoughts to believe?” I’d love to hear what percolates for you!

I hope you found this nudge helpful. Please do share it with anyone who you feel might be living with that hum of stress, or doing battle with their thoughts, and who might benefit from a different perspective.

All the very best for now

Tamsin

It was Mental Health Awareness Week here in the UK last week, and today I was nudged into action to share some thoughts in a video, which I attach below.

I have to say that recording videos is probably one of the fastest ways for me to get caught up in overthinking!? So the easiest way for me to get past all that is just press record and see where the conversation takes me! It’s a big conversation so the video is longer than usual, but I hope you’ll bear with me.

A couple of highlights include some things I feel are currently missing in the current debate, including how helpful it can be to:

see that just because any of us might be experiencing stressful, difficult or hard times, it doesn’t mean there’s anything inherently wrong with us

listen for a person’s mental health versus listening to diagnose, and

keep an open mind to think again when it comes to your own, or anyone else’s, mental health … rather than judging yourself, or them, for whatever you, or they, might be experiencing in the moment.

I’d love to hear what you think about what I’m sharing so if you could spare a minute do let me know any thoughts or fresh insights that percolate.

I know this is a topic that can stir up all kinds of thoughts, but I’d love it if you could just take a look with as little on your mind as possible, and join in the conversation!

Here’s some links I reference in the video

Mental Health Awareness Week 2017 – A nudge about overthinking and mental wellbeing

Mental Health Awareness Week 2019 – What if it’s okay to not feel okay

A nudge about the way we think

Getting comfortable with the unknown

A nudge and message for our times

Free ‘Living in the Flow‘ email series, a good introduction to this understanding I share about the nature of thought to help you experience greater peace of mind.

I do hope you find this nudge helpful. Please do share it with anyone who you feel could benefit from being part of this conversation.

All the very best for now

Tamsin

We finally had some lovely sunshine here in the UK this week, just in time to be able to meet friends and loved ones again in an outdoor space. I spent time with my twin sister, and this is the blossom tree in the front of her garden!

We also both had our first vaccination jabs, and I take my hat off to all the people involved. Everyone was so friendly from the people directing us as we arrived to those taking our details and the nurses giving us the jab, it all went smoothly and quickly and I feel very grateful.

The results are in … wellbeing resides inside

Thanks so much to those of you who replied to my last nudge and straw poll on wellbeing. It was so interesting to read your responses.

In short, most people felt that their wellbeing resides inside them.

As one person said: “Has to be inside otherwise it’s too unstable.”

For me, that seems to be at the very core of what makes the difference for people’s mental health. Because if it seems like wellbeing depends on something external having to look a certain way, or a feeling of needing to control our circumstances or other people before we can feel okay, then inevitably that’s likely to give rise to feelings of insecurity, especially during changing times.

Trusting in our wellbeing

So if our wellbeing resides inside us, why can it feel harder to access in challenging times? I think the answer lies in the understandable human trait of looking outside ourselves in an effort to give ourselves certainty when life starts to feel uncomfortable. But what if that’s just a case of looking in the wrong direction? And instead of looking to external circumstances, or others, to give us our sense of wellbeing, we rather look inside ourselves and trust that it resides within.

There’s evidence all around us right now of people’s inner wellbeing and resilience at play, regardless of all that’s going on. And that’s why I spend my time these days nudging people towards their inner wellbeing, which I’ve come to see is innate and naturally in us all. It gives us a solid foundation to stand on…a ‘mental immunity’ if you like…and when we live more from that place, can make for a much less stressful experience of life.

Easier to access in nature

Spending time out in nature was also mentioned a lot in people’s responses to me for where they felt their wellbeing more. This makes perfect sense to me as so often that’s when we have less on our minds, and for me, it’s experiencing that spaciousness outside that opens up greater access to that quieter space of wellbeing and peace of mind inside.

That feels like a hopeful message on which to end, and to wish you a very happy Easter and relaxing break.

All the very best for now

Tamsin

PS I’m currently planning some one to one and group options to help people live more from their wellbeing, which I’ll be sharing soon. If you’re interested to know more now, then just drop me an email and I’ll let you have more details.